#thoughts I have them
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reading is subjective: Tuon [unwritten essay]
This was sitting in my drafts from September 2021. I don’t have the energy to wrack my brain to figure out how I would have finished it, but I think I’d made, like, a third of a point, so I’m posting it anyway.
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Reading is subjective: Tuon
Or, Why I consider Tuon one of The Good GuysTM even though she’s the ruler of an empire whose firepower is significantly dependent upon an abhorrent and abusive system of controlling channellers.
She’s Team Light, but that doesn’t account for it. (See: Elaida)
It’s all about context and expectations.
She's married to a member of Team Light and I am entertained by their interactions; that definitely influences my opinion.
But I think one of the biggest influences on my opinion is how the Seanchan are introduced. It’s books and books before we meet Tuon herself, and it’s so viscerally obvious that their treatment of damane is abhorrent and abusive.
#Why are my drafts full of posts about Tuon?#thoughts I have them#meta and essays#analysis#Tuon#Knife of Dreams#wot books
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stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
#🐉#im not gonna send either of them to my dad because i value my peace and safety but i really was tempted by the second one#'why do you have to send a card to your dad i thought you hated that guy' well the thing is one time i forgot#when i was like. ten. and his reaction was not something i ever want to relive.
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It would have taken another immortal to keep up with him.
so i haven't read the books but i did read the Devil's Minion chapter and this part made me laugh out loud:
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#armand iwtv#armand#daniel molloy#devils minion#armandaniel#ancient and powerful 500 year old vampire stalks Random Journalist for 4 years and accidentally falls obsessively in love with him#delectable feed it to me slowly like grapes#genuinely before i read this chapter i thought the armand/daniel dynamic was a nandor/guillermo type of renfield situation#i was not expecting it to be so weirdly wholesome#these two have canonically watched hit 1981 british comedy Time Bandits together like 800 times#deeply unserious i love them so much
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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#TO CLARIFY ON THE SECOND POINT: VAMPIRES *HAVE* A REPRODUCTION METHOD THAT IS NOT SEX-BASED#THAT IS THE MAJOR POINT OF THAT ONE. THAT VAMP REPRODUCTION IS BASED ON CONVERTING INTO UNDEAD AND NOT PREGNANCY#what i think i keep coming back to is that a vampire is like. a form of pathogen or perhaps parasite#is the individual vampire meaningfully distinct from that? maybe#sort of a made up question#but that’s not a mammal#so neither is a vampire#but also like. a human is a mammal#this question sponsored by my friend who said she was done keeping mammals bc ��they have so much fluid in them’#and my thought that a vampire Wouldn’t#not a lot of fluids. happening there
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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women's thighs. you agree. reblog.
#I'm having THOUGHTS#😋😋😋#but ugghhhh#i just love women ok?#and women's thighs... well... i worship them#rambles#2k#4k#6k#8k
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a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind
#so in summary:#coffee grounds; room temp vodka; the feeling of first having root beer; coffee and bacon; maple syrup; grenadine; and a calzone#they are all so insane and i love them for it#and also its such a perfect representation of a brain#bc like! yeah! that IS what my thoughts are bouncing between when i'm asked what i want for a meal! i am that fucking bonkers sometimes!!#dimension 20#dimension 20 mentopolis#mentopolis#mentopolis spoilers#d20#dnd#brennan lee mulligan#hunch curio#anastasia tension#conrad schintz#the fix#imedla pulse#dan fucks#alex song xia#hank green#danielle radford#freddy wong#siobhan thompson#mike trapp#d20 cast#long post#andis thought geyser
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Sloppy comic based on me and my friends conversation on my bday last week 😝🥳 this is pretty much verbatim hahaha
#when u have a high charisma stat but you’re aro/ace#My friend did that exact reaction that Angel does (sans two extra arms haha) These guys make the best lil dolls for re-enacting reality#also deadass did not know I was coming out to them bout that!?#I thought they been knew but came to find out they thought I was the hit it n quit type (no shade)#with the way I be acting in the club lol#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#my doods#chaggie#angel dust#cherri bomb#sir pentious
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ghost doesn't think he hears you correctly, not at first. there's a ringing that's still in his ears from the bullet he nearly ate earlier. (cw: dubcon, 18+)
"wot?"
"can you please please please--pretend to be my boyfriend--just for one minute--!"
"heyyy, sunshine," a nasty little voice sings. you spin around, cowering by the bar, just as someone a little too drunk and a little too big comes into your space. you scoot away from him, but he's coming closer, leaning over you, and ghost tilts his head to the side as he watches the way you flinch at the stink of his breath.
ghost fits into the space at your back quite easily. your back arches a little as his big hand finds the bend of your waist, and you squeak a little when he forces you back, pressing your ass against his pelvis as he tucks you into his shadow.
"who's this fuckin' nitwit?" ghost mutters, clicking his tongue under his mask. you swallow, blinking up at the man, shrugging as you try and press yourself a little closer against his heat.
"i-i dunno," you whisper, and it's shaky, afraid. "h-he won't stop...following me."
"tha' right?" ghost hums, and you're so afraid of the man in front of you that you don't really register the way ghost's big hand is slipping lower, over the curve of your denim jeans and squeezing the fat of your ass that fills the palm of his hand all too nicely. "ya botherin' 'er?"
the man swallows a little, hiccuping. he stands up straighter, a little more sober, and he just shrugs as he takes another swig of his beer.
"just...she's so pretty, ya know--agh!"
ghost reaches over and grips him by the fat of his neck. he squeezes hard, drawing him closer, would be spitting in his face if he wasn't wearing the balaclava over his head.
"'f i see ya around 'er again, i'll paint the fuckin' walls with y'r teeth, mate, yeah? now get outta my fuckin' sight before i do it just for fun."
when ghost lets him go, he struggles to breathe, holding onto the bar and coughing as he scrambles to put distance between you. you shake a little, turning towards the bar, picking up what you assume is his drink and sipping it slowly to try and calm the nerves. you close your eyes gently, shaking your head.
"thank you," you say softly. "i-i couldn't shake him off, he was following me everywhere, i..." you turn your head and meet his eyes, smiling up at him. "that was really nice of you. i'm...sorry if i caused you any trouble."
ghost tilts his head to the side, fitting himself back behind you. he reaches over, putting both arms on either side of you and leaning over one shoulder, breathing hot against your neck.
"wot you mean?" he murmurs, and you blink, not understanding.
"for pretending to..." you laugh a little, looking into his eyes. "just...it was nice of you to do that. to pretend like that, i--"
"dunno wot y'r talkin' about," ghost chuckles, and you seize when he reaches down between you, cupping you between the legs as he palms at your pussy over your jeans. you keen a little, leaning into his touch, nasty brute pressing two fingers against where you're most sensitive and forcing your ass back against him, where he's hard, chubbed up since he first saw you, leaking into his cargos.
"i-i--" your eyes are wide, but you don't pull away, don't push him back--why am i not running? why can't i leave? what's happening to me--
"i wasn't pretending. were you?"
#i mean this is canon#this is how dark!ghost picks up girls#he sends johnny after them so they have to resort to the scariest guy in the room#works every time :D#but im a freak and would give in js#like i say dubcon but im into it if its ghost ok ok#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
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Several weeks ago one of my coworkers called me over into her cubicle and gave me a very unexpected gift. Her mother passed away recently, and she'd been packing stuff up at her condo to give to relatives and sell, so the home could be sold. The mother was an avid knitter and crocheter, and when my coworker came upon her stash of equipment, she told me, she "immediately thought of me as someone who might get some use out of it."
So, I have inherited a varied collection of knitting needles and crochet hooks, cable needles, sewing needles, and, best of all, now-out-of-print pattern books, mostly for blankets, because that was what this lady loved to make most. Plus, I also have a bunch of gauge swatches she made, pinned to little bits of card covered in perfect schoolteacher handwriting setting out the patterns they were made to test.
And also...
My coworker brought another bag, full of yarn and...knitted blanket squares. Her mother's last started project, before she got too sick to continue. And she asked if there was anything I could do with it.
It turned out, there are twelve completed squares, and I quickly located the pattern book they are from amid those given to me. It's a book of 60 patterns, meant to be put together however the maker wishes into blankets of 20 squares. I figured out which of the numbered patterns were already made, and selected eight more that I thought might go well with them.
So now! I am working on completing! My coworker's mother's last knitting project!
And I really am feeling very good about doing it.
#kidk says stuff#knit#i love making blankets anyway and these patterns are honestly cool#i already have most of the equipment i'd ever need but i still feel warm and fuzzy having this old gal's stuff too#my coworker thought of me ;__; she's seen my scarves and the table runners and stuff i have in my cubicle#she gave me precious things from her mother's beloved hobby because she 'knew i wouldn't let them go to waste'!#i feel very much like a human being and a member of a community because of this idk it's just nice all right?#crafts#blanket completion project
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and they were roommates
#danny phantom#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#jack fenton#college au#i designed the house so here are some of my thoughts about it hahaha#the mansons bought the house really flippantly because it made financial sense not to rent for the next four years#and also they can probs make money renting it out after the trio graduates#they were not expecting how involved the foleys and the fentons would get lmao#the trio lives together really well#but sam hates how the boys take care of the bathroom on their floor#she forces them to clean it before people come over#danny is way more open about his powers in this house#he could have gotten away with that last one if he remembered that he can be invisible#but the boy is sleep deprived so who can blame him#sam colored her hair pink senior year of high school but light colors are too hard to maintain so she swapped to dark purple later
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I just wanna draw them being all soft n stuff okay? :'( <333
#no like they have consumed all of my thoughts#ik im quiet here atm but im freaking out In a feral non girly totally concept way about hazbin#BEEN WAITING FIVE FUCKIN YEARS FOR THIS#AND ITS EVERYTHING I HOPED IT WOULD BE AND MORE#ahem#But yeah!! :'D#I love almost all the characters but these two always have and always will be my favs :'>#<3#tribbleart#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#huskerdust#angel dust#hazbin hotel fanart#husk#angel dust fanart#husk fanart#I LOVE THEM- *sobs grossly*
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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I've never been explicit about this because I'm a Fandom Old, and back in the day it was simply understood that anything on the Internet was fair game to do with what you wish, but: if you see a story of mine out there and you like it, download it. Fuck if I care. Keep it for yourself, distribute it to friends, print copies for yourself and your friends, mail it to people, I don't give a shit. As long as you're not exchanging money, I couldn't care less. And tbh you should be doing this with all fanfics you love - print them, save them, put them on a flash drive or a hard drive or share them with friends, whatever. Fanfic authors these days are really fucking precious about their fics, but honestly we're probably going to start seeing queer art being disappeared (especially in the US under the next president) so do whatever you can to archive the things you love to read. Even if that means just printing them out and sticking them in a binder for yourself to read as a bedtime story.
#imp speaks#goes for other stories too but i'm a fanfic author on here so#and yeah i have a million other things that are making me sick to my stomach rn that are more important#but the idea of my gay fanfic living on even if the original copies get disappeared from where i uploaded them#and passed around to others to read#is a nice thought
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✍️ more fic writer asks!
reblog & your followers can send asks with the questions they’d like you to answer!
the last sentence you wrote
a character whose POV you’re currently exploring
how you feel about your current WIP
a story idea you haven’t written yet
first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP
the word that appears the most in your current draft (wordcounter.net can tell you)
your preferred writing fonts
if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…
start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?
what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?
a WIP you’d like to finish someday
a trope you’re really into right now
a fandom you’re thinking about writing for
where do you get your inspiration?
favorite weather for writing
favorite place to write
talk about your writing and editing process
if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic
the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic
in what year did you publish your first fic?
when did you publish your most recent fic?
do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?
pick three keywords that describe your writing
how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?
besides writing, what are your other hobbies?
are you able to write with other people around?
your favorite part of the writing process
your least favorite part of the writing process
how easy is it for you to come up with titles?
share a fic you’re especially proud of
#please reblog to your own followers!!#you don't need to send me any (I just like making them)#I meant to do this yesterday but was too sleepy#fic writer asks#ask game#I have 100% asked these on discord or twitter at some point#but there are only so many Thoughts in my poor head
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